Friday, December 14, 2012

Conversations & Nonsense

There are many times a day when I find myself saying things that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Now some of these can be attributed to "mommy brain" or a major lack of caffeine at the time.  My sisters will remind me of a time we were talking in my parents' kitchen in the past year and I stopped and asked: "Wait- who said that? Me?"  And I was referring to something that had just been said...But really the nonsensical statements and conversations I am thinking about most today are the ones that actually make complete sense in the context and at the time they are being said.  Still I am positive that A.J. never has conversations with his coworkers like I do with my four little coworkers.  Today's prime examples all happened within the first hour and a half before we took Jimmy to school:
Me to Jimmy: "Stop bothering the baby with the spatula!!"
Me to Sawyer as I was getting him dressed: "What's that in your mouth? Baby Jesus?! Spit that out!" He had managed to cram the entire Baby Jesus from our Rubber Duck Nativity into his mouth.
Me to Jimmy as I was loading the boys in the car: "Stop standing by the exhaust pipe!" as he was standing there saying it smelled bad.

And there are so many other things that I say on a regular basis that remind me that my "job" has so much humor in it even if I don't find it at the time.
Me to Jimmy at least once a day: "Quit licking the baby's head!" This wouldn't be a problem if Jimmy's breath didn't smell like cat's breath.
Me to Josie: "Quit beating your brother with that (fill in random object here)!" The current object of choice is a hard plastic 2 foot tall candy cane, but really she can make use of anything within reach.  No need for self defense classes for that girl.
Me to Sawyer: "Please don't suffocate the baby under the pillows!"
Me to Bart: "Stop eating the (fill in the blank with some non-food item)!"  "Stop trying to electrocute yourself!  Get away from that cord!!" "Quit using your hair as a napkin!"

There are so many more mind numbing statements made everyday but not enough time to keep track and there's not a glimmer of hope that this mommy brain can remember them all.




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