Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Observations from the week of Breaking in the Barn

-Jimmy applies holy water as if it is aftershave
-my family & friends are awesome and still support me in my somewhat offbeat dreams
-babies love beer bottles, both to look at "ooh so shiny!" and to teethe on.   maybe I need to figure out a way to market a baby safe beer bottle teether.
-I have a really bad addiction to Craigslist furniture and thankfully a husband who supports this.
-on that same note, my sister's taste in furniture is a bit different than mine based on her reaction to my recent teal "vintage arm chair" purchase and me having to clarify that said chair did not come from A.J.'s grandma
-The clerk at Costco may have thought I had as many children as the Duggars as he rang up my two cart loads and asked how long that amount of food would last us...I had been the sucker who volunteered to do the Costco run for our family beach trip, but really my sisters were the  big suckers as they had the fun of keeping my 4 children along with their own kids while I went to Costco with only my 13 year old nephew.
-I have so much respect for moms who work full time outside of the house.  I am only working about twenty steps away and it has been a chaotic adjustment for all.
- I could never homeschool my children as evidenced by the major 'tude Josie likes to display in my art classes.  She was getting a bit feisty the other day and threatened to leave the class early then added that she "could" go to the house because she lived there.   She did have a point.
- black shingles really do heat things up...2 portable ACs, one ceiling fan, and two standing fans in the barn and the upstairs art studio got close to 90 degrees.  We're working on it...Until the heat wave passes, classes are temporarily being held in the mancave section of the barn and my children now correctly use the term mancave.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

My Moronic Move of the Day

Ah summer...One of the most fun parts of it is that I get to take all four children with me on most errands.  Today's brief trip to Safeway to pick up a prescription and grab a few things went something like this.  Bart was strapped to me(literally) in the baby Bjorn facing outwards so he could check out all the action, but since he is a bit of a chubbo I am pretty sure it looked more like the scene in Austin Powers where Dr. Evil has Mini Me strapped to him in a similar device.  Jimmy and Sawyer were in the car cart and Josie was dancing around the store ahead of me.  Jimmy chose to be seat belted- always my more cautious one while Sawyer was perched out of the fake car passenger window humming some song at the top of his lungs.  And it is such a cruel joke that every time I have to make my way through the store to get to the pharmacy I have to go through the wine and beer section.  Many bottles stood there taunting me with their pretty labels, but I resisted the 2 for $10 special of the day and was just thankful that none of my goons managed to send any of the glass bottles crashing to the floor.  However, if they had, I may have dropped to my knees and started lapping up "the nectar of the gods".  But before I sound any more like an alcoholic I will get back to our shopping adventure.  After grabbing the prescription, I made it my mission to see how fast we could grab the supplies necessary to give my sister Nikki a chocolate fix since she is hitting the one week postpartum point after my niece Sally's arrival.  We weaved through the store grabbing rolls of cookie dough and supplies for saltine toffee, would have been much faster had three certain small people not had the need to be "helpers" and put things in the cart for me.  Once at the line in front, we again provided amusement to the elderly lady in front of us as I let the kids each choose a push pop and argued with Josie that she could not have one of those stupid bottle pops because I could not deal with the powder(sugar) that is part of it for the kid to dip their pop in.  Sawyer by this point was refusing to actually sit in the car cart and was perched on top of it spread eagle just seconds away from some sort of injury.  Finally through the sliding doors and on our way.  I am fairly certain that once we cleared those doors, there was a great amount of applause on the other side by clerks and shoppers alike, but maybe I was just hearing things again...
In the car, on our way to our next destination, Josie hit me with the doozey: "Did Jesus have a girlfriend?" which led to one of the most long-winded, but trying to make sure I cover all the Catholic bases explanations in the world.  And by the time I was finished I think we were both lost.  This came after telling me earlier this morning that it would be so cool if "Taylor Swift was my older sister and then she would be Sofi's(my niece) and Annabelle's cousin".  Nevermind the fact that this would have meant that I gave birth to that "older sister" at age thirteen.  I lovethe carefree logic of six year olds.
We spent a large chunk of the afternoon at my parents' house where the children pretty much have free reign and cavort with some or all of their cousins on any given day.  Today there were only ten kids around to wreak havoc and create messes in every room that they touched.  The younger contingent of boys has a renewed fondness for wrestling so the matches took place in my parents "at one time formal" living room while forts were constructed in the playroom and playdough was scattered around the kitchen table.  As usual, there were moments of tattling and people ended up in tears.  Josie and her cousin Ava came running down from the playroom to let my sister Yvette and I know that a bunch of the kids were "naked" and singing "sexy songs" which turned out to be that the boys had taken their shirts off and were dancing around singing "Sexy and I Know It".  In trying to keep Bart occupied while I made up the toffee, I plunked him in the exersaucer with some crackers to teethe on.  In an effort to ease the cleanup of the crumbs, I handed Bart to my sister and went to shake the exersaucer out in my parents' front yard.  Hoisting it high in the air, I walked out on their porch and for whatever reason, most likely the various distractions(children), I blanked on the fact that there were two steps leading down from the porch. I completely lost my footing and wiped out in the biggest way, flip flops flying, exersaucer crashing and me landing in a huge splat.  I have never been so happy that my parents' busy body next door neighbor was not around as I was today.  And before I really collected myself I did that whole freak out scan the surroundings, dear God please don't say that anyone saw that thing.  I tried not to focus on how much it really hurt, but to pretty much hold my breath as I shook the exersaucer as quickly as possible and threw it on the porch before hobbling back inside into the kitchen where my sister Yvette saw my bloody scraped leg and then my other foot which looked somewhat like I caught it in a shredder. At this point I finally released the pent up "OOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" that I really needed to get out.  Shockingly I didn't cry, but my sister commiserated with me just how badly the whole scraped knee/arm/whatever on concrete really hurts.  It is a sensation that stays with you from the first time you fall off your bike as a kid.  And it hurts just as much as an adult.  Sawyer, my niece Katarina, and my nephew Sam enjoyed playing nurses' helpers and helping Yvette put about twenty bandaids on my foot.
A little later, one of the kids yelled that he had seen Moxie(who is staying at my parents' while the barn is being built) trotting around out front in my parents' pipe stem.  I rushed to throw on my flip flops and ignore my black and blue toe which I am pretty sure is broken and go round up the dumb dog.  Luckily, my mother has clearly shown Moxie that food is love and that it is much more sensible to return to your foodsource and so Moxie was already heading back to my parents' front door when I went out to get her.  With the dog safely back inside, back to the wrestling matches I went, watching the boys hurl their little bodies at one another, my sister and I trying not to laugh as they seemed to reenact scenes from the show "Jackass" in my parents' living room.  Just another day in the life.