Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Bribery, Banks, Bikini Diets & Beer

I feel like I pretty much just blinked and June is about over.  This week the oldest two kiddos are in Vacation Bible Camp in the mornings.  All has gone smoothly except the drop-offs for Jimmy.  He is my more sensitive guy who takes a bit longer to adjust to new places and faces.  The start of preschool last year was only difficult for the first day or two so I figured since he’d mastered that, that this would be a piece of cake.  WRONG!  Picture lots of kicking and screaming and tears on days one and two of this week.  That brings us to day three.  I had upped the ante from day 2’s reward which was a triple push pop and the big time bribery for today was getting ice cream and also a trip to the pet store to see the fish(side note: Jimmy pretty much dislikes all other animals). The 2 youngest and I walked Jimmy to his classroom for dropoff with me chanting over and over“Fish and ice cream! Let’s have a good drop off, Jimmy!” sounding like a lunatic.  I handed him off to one of the teenaged leaders as the main adult in charge was busy helping someone else.  Teenage leader sees Jimmy and yells to the adult leader who happens to be her mother: “Mom, Jimmy’s here!”.  Adult leader turns and says: “Oh Jimmy’s here!” and goes into Operation distract Jimmy mode and immediately turns her attention to him.  There were no tears today as I did my best to bolt from the building with Bart and Sawyer.  At pickup, the adult leader informed me that things went better today- hooray!  We hustled to get Josie from her group and headed to Petsmart.
I am a magnet for “helpful people” and as we swarmed the fish section, a clerk overheard me and just popped over to say that she guessed we were “just looking”, but could help if we needed anything which somehow translated into a lesson on several of the fish we like looking at and the proper size of tank.  And now Santa will most likely be bringing an aquarium to our house.  Yes, it’s June…After our thorough inspection and lessons in the fish section, we peeked at the hamsters and guinea pigs on our way to pick up a new collar for Moxie.  As I waited in line, the oldest three ran over to watch at the window of the dog grooming area.  Sawyer as usual was bouncing off walls and the clerk actually asked him to calm down because he said Sawyer “was making the dog nervous”. 
Onto Friendly’s we went to pick out tubs of ice cream- much easier in my mind than eating it there with the four kids by myself.   Ice cream for lunch- why not?  So I am continuing on with my bikini diet.  Last night, the kids and I made a double recipe of chocolate cookies with white chocolate chips in them which went so well with my coffee this morning for breakfast.  I really am adopting the motto that it is really all about the illusion.  For instance, yesterday, I decided to give off the impression that I work out by wearing my yoga/workout capris and a t-shirt.  Reality is that the last time I worked out other than herding children was when I hiked up a mountain for our annual fall family festivus when I was less than a month away from popping out baby #4.  I do think I will be purchasing more yoga pants- they are just so incredibly comfortable and stretchy which is a huge benefit for my current diet…
Apparently I am my own subject in a twisted Pavlovian experiment to train mothers never to take their children to the bank with them as proven by the fact that I have done this twice in the past week while attempting to get my business account in order for my art studio.  My bank goes above and beyond to cater to clients with children.  In addition to the customary lollipops, they also give kids a token to use in the enormous gumball machine which actually dispenses squinky-type figurines.  And if you get there early enough in the day, there are fresh-baked cookies in individual bags on a table near the lobby.  Clearly this should occupy my children for at least five to ten minutes.  But then Jimmy whined because he didn’t get a “boy squinky”.  Josie was fascinated by some sculpture on the wall.  Bart was repeatedly squealing his super high pitched happy baby scream.  Sawyer and Jimmy tried hanging from the elastic line dividers.  As soon as I diverted their attention with blue lollipops, Sawyer plunked one in his mouth and started using the lines as a runway and I had to grab him by the collar of his shirt…literally to the amusement of the young bank teller.  As I got in the car with them to head home, I genuinely felt a strong urge to come home and pop open a nice cold bottle of beer.  Not so sure how it would have looked to the electrician or our builder who are working on the barn/art studio/mancave.  But on second thought, they’ve both been around my children long enough to understand my plight.

1 comment:

  1. I want to go to your bank, it sounds like disneyland. :)

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