Non-Guilty Moments of Calm

So I am seeing the light at the end of a long stinky kid puke filled tunnel. After our super long funeral weekend, last week became a nice long blur of a house full of germs.  And for those of you close to me, you know that despite the fact that I am not the neatest person in the world, I am a big time germaphobe.  Bring on the bleach!  After a very brief reprieve on Saturday night in which A.J. and I were able to escape for three solid hours counting travel time for drinks with some of the kindergarten parents from Josie's class, the germs returned or rather were tossed up all over our bed in the middle of the night(thank you, Jimmy).  Poor kiddo- he was sick as a dog...which I really don't understand the phrase of, and at the moment the dog is the only one in this house who has not been sick in the past week and a half.  Well unless you count the fact that the vet thinks the dog has a thyroid problem and Moxie has been getting blood tests to check for that.
Bart's baptism was supposed to be Sunday afternoon so that immediately got cancelled thankfully because by Sunday afternoon, the funk had passed on to A.J.  This actually worked out partly in my favor because Monday morning was looking like a logistical nightmare for me.  I had made the mistake of scheduling Bart's 4 month check up at 9:30.  I would never be on time if Jimmy had been well enough to go to school.  The thought of having to schlep all three boys to the appointment and wait in the sick room(because I would have felt really guilty taking Jimmy in the well waiting room) made me think I would rather have a needle stuck in my eye than bring home any other sicknesses.  That would have been sure to happen based on my wild boys' need to touch everything and scale every surface of a room.  Most likely Sawyer would have licked at least one surface as well.  Painful odds to work with.  With A. J. home, even in his almost comatose state on the couch, I could leave things 1 & 2, drop Josie at school then head with Bart to the pediatricians' office.  Which is exactly what I did.  Thankful for the almost holiday-like traffic(most likely due to the time change) which allowed me to be on time to drop Josie off.  Then to the peds office a short ways past her school.  Enjoyed the perfect morning sunshine, more adult radio(nothing too bad, just morning talk shows I can't have on anymore in my older kids' presence), coffee in the travel mug.  Arrived early for the appointment so hung out in the Gray Goose finished my coffee and fed Bart.  I headed up to the peds' office EARLY with Bart.  Sat in the well waiting room and just breathed and smiled at other parents and oohed and aahed over a 5 day old baby girl, her parents' first.  Smiled partly because she was so tiny and adorable, mostly because I am thankful to be where I am and can remember so well when A.J. and I were those parents with our new baby girl in the waiting room.  I texted my oldest sister that this was the most relaxed I had been in the past two weeks and it was true.
Spent much of the afternoon yesterday outside.  Also opened every window of the house to continue operation germs be gone.  It was a perfect spring weather sort of day, a day that I don't mind my little house so much because we have such a big yard.  The boys were all over, kicking balls around, riding bikes and trikes.  Then there is this fun new game they have.  Some background info is needed to explain this to full amusing effect.  We live on one of the busier corners in our neighborhood where there is a four way stop.  This stop is often the vain of my existence- people have various reactions to it, none of which is to actually stop- slow down just enough, speed up as you approach the stop and blow on through, or just casually run it.  The other day one of these older guys ran it and  then when a school bus driver said something to him, he cursed her out.  Truly a lovely neighborhood I swear!  So to appease me somewhat A.J. bought two of those neon yellow kid cutouts with red hats and orange flags to put out near our driveway when I have the kids out front.  Well I still just choose to stay outback and the kids ride their bikes on the carport and patio.  The neon kids are now yet another toy for the kids to punt around, sometimes quite literally.  Yesterday Jimmy chose to hurl them off the top of our swing set from the platform that is a little clubhouse at the top of the slide.  Sawyer chose to place one at the bottom of the slide and knock it over time and again as he came down the slide.  Some parents might say I am encouraging this violence.  I say, they need to get their energy out and as long as they are just beating on the plastic dummies rather than each other, no harm done.

After we picked Josie up, back out to the yard, we went.  I was really hoping to minimize their exposure to A.J. and his germs.  Jimmy decided to make up another fun game using the rope that hangs from the top of the playset next to the platform where the slide starts.  He tied the end of the rope around his waist.  Note that the other end of the rope is secured to the top of the playset.  He stood at the top of the slide and then you can guess where this is going- hurled his body down the slide as I looked up to see this unfolding.  I was on the phone with one of my best friends and ran screaming towards the slide for Jimmy to stop.  No major injury- thank you, God!  My husband unfortunately also witnessed this and said to me: "how are the kids any safer with you out here??"  Because I had just been saying to him a few minutes earlier that they needed an adult outside with them, not just watching from the kitchen window.
 Josie decided yesterday would be the day to take the training wheels off her bike.  So we did and then I spent the next hour helping her back and forth on the patio.  She was a bit nervous at first and kept letting go with one hand and the bike would jerk to the other side and she'd abandon ship.  We ended up deciding to just focus on her making it further in a straight path, we'll conquer turns a different day.  In order to maximize a straight path, she would start on the patio and continue on in the yard.  This system was genius the first couple times...until she ran straight into the bottom of the slide and somehow ended up with a large red mark on her side.  I may have also been screaming from the porch to "watch out for the slide!".  My poor Monkey was done for the day after that.

So today's non-guilty moment of calm was spent with my two littlest guys sitting on the bench outside at the gas station soaking up the awesome morning sun while the Gray Goose got her safety inspection.  Despite the fact that the Goose is so dinged up, she continues to pass the test and is still street legal.  I am thankful the guys at our local gas station are friendly and just smile as I get out of the car and struggle to unload Sawyer from his car seat and then grab Bart's seat out of its base, praying that the various empty bottles, cups, papers, and other car clutter stay in place and don't all come crashing out.  The guys pay no attention to the fact that my car is crammed full of car seats and clutter.  I am also thankful that the safety test does not include some sort of interior space inspection.  After our trip up and back from Connecticut last weekend, the Goose's interior is scary enough to be declared condemned.
Wishing you calm moments where you just have a chance to sit back and breathe and you can't feel any tinge of guilt because you have to be at that exact place at that exact moment, waiting to check one more thing off your list!