Self Medication with McDonald's

Looking around my house this morning, one could easily surmise that this week had been that kind of week.  The house pretty much looks like a bomb went off, laundry piles are spilling out of our room and there are two baskets of clean unfolded laundry sitting on chairs in the dining room.  Art supplies from my class also rest on another chair.  No wonder we usually eat at the island in the kitchen.  Today I was determined to get all three boys to church for Josie's weekly school mass since it is Catholic Schools week.  We make it to mass, a half hour late, pour into the cry room and take over the front row where the boys line up their assortment of army men, Star Wars figures, and Super Heroes.  Sawyer only makes one attempt to break out and all seems well.  Mass ends, but turns out this week they are celebrating the feast of St. Blaise so they will have the blessing of throats.  For those of you non-Catholics, you line up and go up to the front of the church and a priest holds two candles crossed by your throat and says a blessing.  This is said to help keep you healthy from all illnesses of the throat.  Being the superstitious Catholic that I am, we head to the back of the church to go to get in line to get our throats blessed.  As we are waiting in the lobby I see a friend who teaches at the school and we chat as I am trying to keep the boys wrangled and to stay in a spot where I can see Josie and wave to her to prove that Mommy did come to her school mass today.  Sawyer practices his football runs back and forth across the church lobby.  Jimmy helps the cause by chasing him.  I try to detain Sawyer as quietly as possible.  Unfortunately for me, the lobby doors which would help keep my son's screams quiet from those in the church are now propped open.  Josie passes by once her class is done getting their throats blessed and they are heading back to school.  The lines seem to be getting shorter so we make our way into the church and I bless myself with holy water, the boys of course follow suit, Sawyer double dipping his entire chunky little hand in.  No, it did not scald him...miraculously.  We make our way slowly to the front of the church, Sawyer squirming to break free from my hold.  I try to entertain him by saying "Look there's Jesus up there!"  pointing to the crucifix.  Then the little boy behind us asks his mom if Bart(who is tucked into his snap n go) is the Baby Jesus to which his mom replies no and I agree saying "especially not if he is anything like his older brothers".  We get up in front and the priest takes one look down at all three of my boys and says :"Oh my goodness! We'll just do a group blessing!" I know he is really thinking "Holy s***!"  Okay our throats are blessed and I am also imagining that all demons are exorcised from my wild boys- well I can hope anyways.
 Now all that is left to do is make our way to the car and wait in line to pick Josie up as it is a half day.  Once outside I am having to drag Jimmy who has decided to go completely limp except for keeping his knees bent, almost kneeling/surfing across the concrete sidewalk.  Add to this mental picture, my other hand attempting to stay firmly grasped around Sawyer's hand as well as the baby's stroller handle.  Now add to the picture an entire class of 4th/5th graders lined up on the sidewalk who have seen this major debacle and are now chanting "Go Jimmy!  Go Jimmy!"  Not difficult to imagine how they figured out his name.  I attempt twice to just let go of Jimmy in hopes he'd get up and follow, but no luck.  This only causes me to lose my grip on the other two and due to the slant of the sidewalk the stroller takes off on its own.  The students are now cheering even louder for Jimmy. "Alright Jimmy!  Go Jimmy!"  Then I realize that because it is a half day there are already cars pouring into the parking lot.  And anyone who has ever been in a school parking lot at pick up knows that some of the most distracted drivers are parents.  Catch hold of Sawyer and the stroller with Bart before it heads into the parking lot.  Jimmy now has himself wrapped around my right leg like a koala bear.  Get to the car and Jimmy decides to have a tantrum because he doesn't want to get in.  Just as I am yelling more and more at him to get in, the same 4th/5th graders come walking by and a couple of the girls start chanting "Go Jimmy!  Help your mom!".
We wait the half hour for Josie's dismissal- me trying to appease the two older boys with half eaten bags of cool ranch Doritos.  Feed Bart in the front seat with my fashionable breatfeeding cloak draped over me and him.  Wrestle to get the boys into their car seats.  Bart and I go grab Josie from her line.  She gets in and is immediately whining about being hungry and this keeps escalating as I have no food aside from some stray fries and a nugget on the floor... from our road trip to see A.J.'s grandma two weeks ago.  Sawyer is freaking out because he has decided he wants his socks back on and has thrown them somewhere out into the vast universe of junk on the floor of the Gray Goose.  That's it.  I am done. It's not even noon.  Off to McDonald's drive thru for some self medication.  Oh and to get the kids' lunch too.